Connect before you correct: How to talk to teens about drugs without pushing them away

Jayden Tan used to be a bubbly, talkative 12-year-old. Over dinner, his parents would get updates on his life and he loved catching the latest drama series with them on weekends.

But after entering secondary school, he became withdrawn. He would spend hours in his room with his door shut and if his mother asked him about his friends, he would turn moody.

Says his mother Mrs Joyce Tan: “I keep telling myself it’s just teenage hormones. But a part of me wondered: ‘What if it’s something more?’”

The 45-year-old grew even more worried as she read about rising drug abuse among the youth in Singapore and globally. “I asked myself if I should be talking to Jayden about this. What if he thinks I’m ‘kaypoh’ and overreacting, and distances himself even more?” she adds.

Mrs Tan is not alone in feeling anxious. As children move from tween to teen, they can become harder to read and less forthcoming, making it harder for parents to spot potential problems early.

According to the Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB), the youngest drug abuser arrested in 2025 was 12 years old. The number of new drug abusers under 20 also surged by 22 per cent in one year, from 134 in 2024 to 163 in 2025.

Based on

CNB’s Drug Situation Report 2025

, the most commonly abused drug in Singapore is methamphetamine, more commonly known as “Ice”, followed by heroin and cannabis. In 2025, six in 10 new cannabis abusers arrested were below 30 years old.

Parents like Mrs Tan often feel torn. Do they stay silent and hope for the best? Or do they raise the issue head-on and risk pushing their child away?

While striking that balance is never easy, Assistant Superintendent (ASP) Hazel Chua from CNB’s DrugFreeSG Office says the key lies in what she terms “consistent engagement” — much like conversations about relationships or social media use.

“It should not take place only as a one-off lecture after something goes wrong. Consistent engagement is crucial because research shows that parental involvement makes a real difference,” says ASP Chua.

In a 2025 perception survey by the National Council Against Drug Abuse, 94.2 per cent of youth whose parents had spoken to them about drugs said this deterred them from abusing drugs, compared with 91.7 per cent in 2023.

Dr Gabriel Ong, director, CNB Psychological Division, says that how parents talk to their children matters just as much as what they say. Teenagers, he notes, are in a “semi-adulting” phase where they are forming their own identities.

“Your conversation should not be instructional and about what they can or cannot do but more about, let’s have a respectful conversation that isn’t overreactive,” he says.

“If your child asks why are my friends taking cannabis overseas, don’t be quick to say that’s bad because it shuts down the conversation and the walls go up.”

When that happens, Dr Ong notes, teenagers simply turn elsewhere — to friends, social circles and online content. “It’s hard to stop them from turning to other sources of information, which may or may not be reliable,” he adds.

What parents can do, he says, is build a strong and stable relationship early on. “Teenage children will still explore and seek independence, but with a stable relationship, they are less likely to push to risky extremes.” he adds.

A father to two young adults, aged 19 and 21, Dr Ong began discussing drug abuse with his children in their late teens, when they started travelling with peers.

Beyond conversations, parents should also equip their children with practical “refusal skills” if friends offer edibles or other forms of drugs. “Teach them to be assertive and walk away from these situations,” Dr Ong says.

Scrolling smarter together

For many teenagers today, their first exposure to drugs does not come from a friend offering them something behind the school canteen — it comes from their screens.

Platforms such as TikTok and Instagram are filled with bite-sized videos that make drugs look harmless, funny or even aspirational. Memes joke about “weed culture” as a way to relax or cope with stress, while selective storytelling highlights feel-good experiences and leaves out the downsides.

“There’s a lot of misleading content online that makes drug use seem harmless,” says ASP Chua. “One of the biggest lies you’ll hear is that taking ‘just a little’ of certain drugs won’t hurt, or that these substances aren’t addictive at all.”

“Another widespread misconception is that cannabis is not a harmful substance because it’s natural or increasingly legalised elsewhere. This narrative overlooks the health risks, particularly for developing brains, the potential for dependency, and the impact on cognitive function and academic performance,” adds ASP Chua.

She explains that some drug syndicates and organisations with something to gain actually push these messages on purpose. Or might fund biased studies or spread content that makes drug use look normal and low-risk, so they can sell more for profit.

Such content spreads quickly because it is designed to be relatable and shareable. To a teen whose critical thinking skills are still developing, these messages can appear “cool”, low-risk or socially accepted.

ASP Chua says CNB actively monitors emerging pro-drug narratives and trends online, and works with schools, parents and community partners to counter them through education rather than fear.

The aim is not to tell young people to stop scrolling, but to help them question what they see and understand the real-world consequences behind the glossy edits. This is where parents play a crucial role, says ASP Chua. Staying informed about common drug myths allows parents to engage their children in meaningful conversations and address misinformation head-on.

Rather than dismissing questions outright, ASP Chua suggests using the National Library Board’s S.U.R.E. (Source, Understand, Research, Evaluate) approach as a simple way to fact-check information together. Parents can guide their teen to consider who created a piece of content and why, unpack what the message is really saying, check it against reliable sources such as official websites or CNB resources and think through whether it makes sense in real life — including what might be missing and what could go wrong if someone believed or acted on it.

“Have ongoing conversations about what they’re seeing online, don’t wait for a crisis to start talking about these issues,” says ASP Chua.

“Remember, your role isn’t to be a drug trend expert. It’s to be a trusted parent who can guide your child to differentiate between reliable information and dangerous misinformation and support them in making good decisions.”

For more parental resources, click here for CNB’s Info Toolkit